However, research has revealed something entirely different: If you do someone a favor, it is you who will like that person more as a result.
But how can this be?
The reason is that we justify our actions to ourselves by assuming that we did the person the favor because, well, we really like them.
This phenomenon is called the Ben Franklin effect. Franklin once quipped, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged."
Legend has it that Franklin, a Founding Father and renowned scientist, leveraged this discovery to win the favor of a rival Pennsylvania legislator by asking the legislator to lend him a rare book and then showering him with gratitude.
It worked like a charm.
According to Franklin,"When we next met in the House, he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and with great civility; and he ever after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends, and our friendship continued to his death."
Scientists confirmed the power of this technique in a study that challenged participants to an intellectual contest. The winners were subsequently either:
1. Asked to return their prize money by the researcher because he had been using his own money, which was running short
2. Asked by a secretary to return their prize money because it was from the department and budget was running low
3. Allowed to keep their prize money.
Everyone was then surveyed to gauge how they liked the researcher. Consistent with the Franklin effect, group 1 rated him more favorably than group 3, showing that a personal request for a favor induces likeability. Group 2 rated the researcher lower than group 3, indicating that an impersonal request actually reduces likeability.
So there you have it. The Ben Franklin effect seems almost counterintuitive because we have it ingrained in our minds that if we want people to have a more favorable opinion of us, we need to do nice things for them.
I would imagine, however, that the Ben Franklin isn't effective in certain contexts. For example, let's assume a man is on a blind date. If he asks that his date kindly do him the favor of paying for the meal and commits to picking up the tab next time, it may not go well. The same goes for a new employee who asks another if they could trade shifts in his first week on the job.
I also think the Ben Franklin effect is unlikely to work if a person gets into the habit of asking for frequent favors. Sooner or later, he or she will come off as being a user, and others may simply ignore the incessant requests.
So, if you decide to put the Ben Franklin effect to the test at home or in the workplace, be sure to do so in moderation.
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