Why quiet people are judged unfairly

Many people assume that if someone is quiet and unassuming, they must either be antisocial or have low self-esteem.

But this couldn't be farther from the truth.

Unfortunately, those who make such baseless characterizations may assume that there's something about them that the quiet individual doesn't like. In other words, they take it personally. Or, since they know little about them, the easiest thing to do is fill in the gaps themselves and label the person however they please.

This demonstrates that the ones passing judgment are either insecure, or they can't help but attribute negative qualities to the person before getting to know them.

The truth of the matter is that some of us take a little longer to warm up than others do. In the case of a new job, we may need a few weeks before we feel comfortable enough in to socialize more (about non-work related matters, that is) with peers.

Some of us are introverted. This doesn't mean we loathe people, but that we become drained by heavy social interaction. And we recharge our batteries through solitude. We don't get away because we're people-averse; we do it for our well-being.

Some of us are economical with words in that we tend to think through what we're going to say before we open our mouths. We simply hate to waste words.

And while we may be more reticent in certain environments (e.g., school or work), we can be very extroverted around close friends and family.

Just because a person is soft spoken doesn't mean they dislike you or people in general. Give them a chance. Break the ice and try to draw commonalities with them. Even if you never manage to bring out the loudmouth you're confident lies within them, they're bound to become more comfortable opening up to you over time.

But the worst thing one can do to an introvert is push them to come out of their comfort zone before they're ready. That will only serve to widen the gulf between both of you.

And "quiet" should never be mistaken for "weak." Such individuals will stand up for themselves if they're mocked or feel their space is being intruded upon.

Remember, the quietest people often have the loudest minds.

Comments

Cara Memupuk Cabe Rawit said…

nice post, thank you for sharing sweety

July 11, 2018 at 12:42 PM

Unknown said…

"...we do it for our well-being." Great article. I was struggling with this today and feel better. Peace

February 21, 2019 at 12:23 PM

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