If you want a happy life, do THIS

The key to a happier life, as Albert Einstein said, is to tie your life to a goal -- not to people or things.

We all have goals we aim to achieve, from getting a degree to traveling around the world to losing weight to spending more time with our family.

When you make your happiness contingent upon the acquisition of material possessions or the approval of others, the quality of your life takes a nosedive.

For one, material stuff rusts, wears, and tears. Sure, it's always nice to get a new phone or car, but the novelty of the item dissipates quite fast. Before you know it, that phone or car is giving you problems. People who feel they have to be the first to obtain the latest and greatest gadgets will never be content, and it's likely because they're trying to stay ahead of their peers. In the end, buying loads of expensive products you may not even need does nothing but eat away at your bank account and credit.

Typing your happiness to other people is similarly pointless. Why? Because there's no guarantee whether the person whose validation you seek will turn their back on your tomorrow or leave your life altogether. Like the seasons, people change -- and not always for the better.

There's no doubt that people and things can enhance your life, but never should your happiness hinge on them.

If you want to find the true source of your happiness, look deep inside yourself. Happiness comes from within.

There's a difference between saying your happiness depends partly on meeting someone whose virtues and interests complement yours, and saying that you will not be happy unless you end up with Joe Schmoe from the grocery store. The former shows you have an actual goal in mind, and that goal doesn't change whether the relationship with a particular person survives. The latter means you are putting all your happiness eggs in the basket of a specific person who might dump you at the drop of a hat.

Moreover, it's not the same to say you strive to get a promotion because rising through the ranks at your company means a lot to you, and saying you won't feel complete unless you're making $100,000 a year because you couldn't live without the most exorbitantly priced items on the market.

When your tie your life to concrete goals, you're at least challenging yourself. You want to grow. The goal pertains only to you. And you're not putting yourself in a mental straitjacket where happiness is unobtainable without external factors (things and people).

You might be asking, "Well, what happens when you can't accomplish the goal? Does that not make the person a failure?" Absolutely not. The only way one fails is by not trying at all. If a person is fully committed to achieving something, nothing or no one can stop them. They may have to tweak the goal or even fine-tune their approach a bit. But they refuse to quit.

Want to be happy? Don't turn to your iPhone. Don't look to your partner, friends, or coworkers. Look in the mirror.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog