Doing this too much can make you depressed

Whenever we fall into a rut, we may be tempted to "escape" to the past -- a time, our minds tell us, that was surely better than the present. But don't give in or you might sink into a depression!

Reminiscing every so often is healthy. We've all taken part in wonderful experiences we can -- and should -- look back on fondly. And if we're lucky, we captured such unforgettable moments in pictures and videos, which certainly heighten the nostalgia.

But attempting to run away from the problems we face today by living in the past certainly doesn't solve them; in fact, it can exacerbate them.

So why do people seek refuge in the past anyway?

Because the past is safe.

We already know what happens. Whatever issues we grappled with then have already been resolved -- as opposed to now, where we don't know exactly what will happen in the future.

The mind has a way of tricking us into thinking that things were a lot better in the old days than they are now.

In some ways that may be true (e.g., we had more hair and we were in better shape, and perhaps had fewer responsibilities). But our minds conveniently edit/filter out the bad stuff so that our recollections are only the picture-worthy ones that continue to bring a smile to our faces.

The truth is that even back then we contended with different issues as well. We argued with people, had our bad moments, and were uncertain as to what the future held -- as we are now.

Indeed, we have a tendency to look back on the past through rose-colored glasses when we want a break from the present. It's as if we put our blinders on temporarily.

This can potentially make one depressed, as they begin to believe that things will never go back to the way they were. He or she will despair at the thought of their best days being behind them.

The key to real happiness is living in the moment -- as hard as that may be sometimes -- and considering all the fantastic possibilities that lie ahead.

Think of it this way: We have so many things left to do, see, and accomplish. Maybe you've always wanted to start your own business, write a book, or visit China, but just haven't gotten around to it. Now's the time to pursue such goals!

We are better people now than we were back then because we've confronted tough situations along the way that have made us stronger and more resilient. Having the experience and wisdom to make sounder decisions should never be downplayed.

Whatever you're going through, never stop believing in yourself. You'll get through it as you did before. And chances are one day you'll reflect on this time as a great period in your life!

When your mind tries to take you down memory lane to flee from today's challenges, resist the urge to do so. Live for today so that it can be even better than yesterday was.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

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