Cheating is a choice, NOT a mistake

Anyone who contends that cheating is a mistake and not a choice probably cheated on their partner at one point, and their assertion is a convenient way to excuse their unseemly behavior.

NOTHING can justify cheating. Not drinking. Not a stressful job. Not a broken relationship. If one cheats, he or she should own up to it. Whether their partner forgives or takes them back is their call, but chances are they will not. But who can blame them?

And using the tired alibi that you were unfaithful in a moment of weakness (e.g., someone came onto you) is downright ludicrous.

Cheating and lying are intentional choices. Human beings are endowed with the willpower to resist such temptations if they should arise. Cheating is a deliberately choice not to tap into that willpower.

A mistake, on the other hand, is something that happens accidentally. You twist your ankle playing softball. You forget to mail this month's rent payment. You drop and break your child's favorite mug. You don't consciously do these things; they happen unwittingly.

When one cheats, they're well aware of their actions -- and the consequences of such actions -- and yet they choose to go down that slippery slope. It's one of the reasons why I can never advocate for giving cheaters a second chance, as I pointedly argue in a previous post titled Why cheating should NEVER be tolerated.

Many of those who are caught exacerbate the problem by making excuses for their behavior. The least they can do is take responsibility for their actions like an adult would.

If someone is unhappy in their relationship, they should address such feelings with their partner. If that doesn't work, couples' counseling is always on the table. Once they've exhausted their options, it might be best for both partners to go their separate ways before either contemplates getting involved with somebody else.

But trying to escape from relationship problems by getting something on the side is the most cowardly way to go.

In fact, cheating is the ultimate form of betrayal. If you truly love your partner and value your relationship, you would not even entertain the idea of cheating. You would call it quits rather than risk inflicting that kind of pain on them.

And if you're not sure what constitutes cheating, keep in mind this rule of thumb: If you wouldn't feel comfortable discussing it with your significant other, you're treading on dangerous ground.

If one is single but isn't sure they can remain loyal to one person, they shouldn't bother entering into a relationship until they're confident they can honor their commitment to someone else.

And as I alluded to earlier, not everyone has the heart to forgive such a flagrant breach of trust. Even if they do forgive, it's unlikely they'll forget what the cheater did. More likely than not, the offense will remain etched in their mind no matter how hard they try to put it behind them.

Whether one has cheated or finds themselves on the verge of doing so, it would serve them well to hang this quote up on their wall: "Don't do to others what you wouldn't want them to do to you."

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

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