Skip to main content

People should like you for who you are

People should like you for who you are rather than for who they'd like you to be.

Maybe your partner wishes that you shared their love of travel, art museums, and classical music.

Perhaps you have a friend who'd love for you to be into shooting ranges, ACC football, Fox News, and scubadiving like they are.

While there's no harm in suggesting you be open to trying new activities, a line needs to be drawn somewhere.

If you're constantly being pushed to do things you have little or no interest in, perhaps you and your friend or partner are less compatible than you thought.

Maybe they're not as accepting of the "real you" as they seemed at one point, or they've only now gotten to know the real you and aren't impressed.

And that's okay. If changing the way you are is the only way to placate the other person, the relationship just isn't meant to last. There are plenty of other people out there who share your interests and values.

You are not the problem -- they are -- which is why you should change the company in your life rather than alter things about yourself -- your traits, your goals, your passions -- that don't need any changing.

I understand making an effort to change detrimental characteristics and habits like laziness and profligacy. But anything having to do with your beliefs, values, career goals, and interests is out of bounds. These things make you who you are -- they comprise the core of your very being -- so why should you have to change them?

If their MO is to get you to be more like them, it speaks to their insecurities. Being unique is a great thing. It allows people to bring different perspectives to the table and teach one another new things, which keeps the relationship fresh and exciting. People don't have to like all the same things in order to get along. But if he or she chooses to set such parameters, the two of you are probably better off going your separate ways.

Love yourself and never apologize for it. (Not to be confused with what narcissists do; they think they're a gift to the world and look down on others.)

If someone presses you to change something about yourself, don't cave. Remain steadfast. Embrace your individuality. Set yourself apart from the pack. Some people will respect you more for it, while others will cut ties. At the end of the day, what matters is that you're happy with your life and yourself.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca
Post a Comment
Read more

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n
6 comments
Read more

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put
1 comment
Read more