People should like you for who you are

People should like you for who you are rather than for who they'd like you to be.

Maybe your partner wishes that you shared their love of travel, art museums, and classical music.

Perhaps you have a friend who'd love for you to be into shooting ranges, ACC football, Fox News, and scubadiving like they are.

While there's no harm in suggesting you be open to trying new activities, a line needs to be drawn somewhere.

If you're constantly being pushed to do things you have little or no interest in, perhaps you and your friend or partner are less compatible than you thought.

Maybe they're not as accepting of the "real you" as they seemed at one point, or they've only now gotten to know the real you and aren't impressed.

And that's okay. If changing the way you are is the only way to placate the other person, the relationship just isn't meant to last. There are plenty of other people out there who share your interests and values.

You are not the problem -- they are -- which is why you should change the company in your life rather than alter things about yourself -- your traits, your goals, your passions -- that don't need any changing.

I understand making an effort to change detrimental characteristics and habits like laziness and profligacy. But anything having to do with your beliefs, values, career goals, and interests is out of bounds. These things make you who you are -- they comprise the core of your very being -- so why should you have to change them?

If their MO is to get you to be more like them, it speaks to their insecurities. Being unique is a great thing. It allows people to bring different perspectives to the table and teach one another new things, which keeps the relationship fresh and exciting. People don't have to like all the same things in order to get along. But if he or she chooses to set such parameters, the two of you are probably better off going your separate ways.

Love yourself and never apologize for it. (Not to be confused with what narcissists do; they think they're a gift to the world and look down on others.)

If someone presses you to change something about yourself, don't cave. Remain steadfast. Embrace your individuality. Set yourself apart from the pack. Some people will respect you more for it, while others will cut ties. At the end of the day, what matters is that you're happy with your life and yourself.

Comments

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