Skip to main content

Caring about what others think leads to THIS


As Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once warned, "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner."

Indeed, some people care so deeply about others' opinions of them that they allow those individuals to dictate the very decisions they make in their own lives -- whether it affects their love life, career, and so forth.

For example, some people will not date a person unless they get the green light from their friends. Others will refrain from dressing a certain way, driving a specific car, or eating particular foods for fear that relatives will not approve.

Worrying over what people say or think about you will only trap you mentally and emotionally, preventing you from reaching your full potential and living life to the fullest.

And here's the truth: In most cases, these people aren't thinking of us at all! And even if they are, who's to say it isn't something positive? Perhaps they dig your new glasses even though you're convinced they find them hideous. Maybe they find you to be charming and not obnoxious, articulate and not bumbling.

Whatever the case, their opinion of you -- however negative -- should not impinge on your happiness.

People may form negative judgments of others without even knowing all the facts, or because of misunderstandings.

Maybe you rub them the wrong way because you look like their ex, or you struck them as rude during your first encounter because you were having a bad day. But it's nothing that a good conversation over coffee can't fix.

At the end of the day, we can't please everyone, nor can we get into people's heads. No one has the right to invalidate your feelings, preferences, or choices. After all, it's your life, and nobody knows you better than you do.

Just because you don't dress like they do, share their hobbies, or even eat the same foods doesn't make you wrong and them right. Do what makes you happy, even if it ruffles others' feathers. And if they refuse to accept you the way you are, they're not worth wasting another minute on.

Once you cease worrying about others' perception of you, however, you'll feel as though a weight has been lifted. You will escape from the mental confines you've unnecessarily created for yourself and regain a sense of freedom.

You should be so busy enjoying your life that you don't have the time to stop and think what others think of you. And remember, the only person whose opinion matters is yours.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...