Your relationship will prosper if it has THIS...

Some of my readers have asked me how they can gauge whether their relationship is built to last. Those who are currently single have similarly wondered what the keys to a fruitful relationship are.
To both camps I respond as follows: While there is no such thing as the perfect relationship, you know yours has the potential to last a lifetime if the two of you connect on four fundamental levels: (1) physically (2) emotionally (3) mentally and (4) spiritually. Below I touch upon what each connection entails.

Physical connection: While looks are certainly not the most important facet of a romantic relationship, they still count to a certain degree. You don't need a partner who looks like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie to appreciate their beautiful eyes, nice legs, smooth skin, or wonderful smile. In other words, while the person may not be a "10" on the attractiveness scale, they still have physical assets that you, as their partner, can admire. But we needn't place too heavy an emphasis on physical appearance, as it is the most shallow of the four connections you can forge with another person. In fact, a person might not find someone physically attractive at first, but their great personality actually enhances their physical appeal.

Emotional connection: When the two of you bond emotionally, you are sensitive to one another's feelings and needs. You understand, listen to, and show compassion toward each other. You resist the urge to judge the other person and instead seek to find common ground -- even if you may not always agree on things. A relationship cannot thrive -- or even survive -- without a strong emotional foundation of love, trust, respect, loyalty, communication, and understanding.

Mental connection: You know your relationship is very strong when the two of you complement each other mentally. You're both deep, intellectually curious, inquisitive, and perceptive. You each like to challenge the status quo.You share a similar taste in books, movies, music, and art. You can debate one another on a number of topics that the two of you find enriching, from politics to stem cell research. Perhaps you even enjoying going toe-to-toe at trivia, Jeopardy!, and other games that test your knowledge. In short, your minds fuse together almost seamlessly.

Spiritual connection: A spiritual connection transcends all others. At this stage, the two of you share a unique, near-psychic connection -- one you've never experienced with anyone else. You know how your partner is feeling without them having to say a word. You can almost finish their sentences for them. You know exactly which items would catch their eye at a restaurant or clothing store. The two of you are kindred spirits, knowing one another like the back of your hand.

Now, just because you don't share, say, a strong mental/spiritual connection with your partner doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is doomed. However, the more connections you can check off your list, the better your chances of having a blissful relationship that will endure until the two of you take your last breaths.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

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