Why you shouldn't chase after people

There are people in our lives who couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and call or text us, no matter how many messages we've left for them.

Chasing after them sends the message that, in spite of their cool detachment, you're going to continue pressing them for a response. Essentially, you're rewarding them for their unseemly behavior.

Do they really deserve this special treatment? Absolutely not!

If you've done your part to try to get in touch, the ball is in their court. Make it clear that you have your own priorities to worry about and that your world doesn't revolve around them.

If taking a stand spells the end of that relationship, so be it. Your time will be much better spent on people who show an interest in you and make a conscious effort to maintain contact.

Getting the cold shoulder from our partner, a friend, or a relative can be quite painful and perplexing, especially if it's someone we were once very close to.

But just like the seasons, people change over time. We shouldn't blame ourselves for that, nor should we create illusions in our minds of things going back to the way they used to be. They might, but the chances are quite slim.

Whether it's a friend who's fallen off the map since getting into a relationship or a sibling who hasn't shown up for any family gatherings since getting a promotion, you can't force people to think or act as you'd like them to. And continuing to pine after someone -- even after they've displayed an unwillingness to respond -- usually has the unintended consequence of further repelling them.

Unfortunately, such people end up realizing their mistakes (if ever) once misfortune rears its ugly head, e.g,. a dead in the family, a round of layoffs at work, etc.

Yet, people need to take responsibility for their own actions. Only by owning up to their missteps will they learn not to take others who value them for granted.

And if they never come around, it means you'll come away having learned a valuable lesson: Those who are worth being in your life will never make you chase after them. You can at least thank them for that. If they don't care, you don't have to either.

Comments

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