Why people drift away from us

Sometimes it's hard to accept the fact that certain people whom we were once very close to know nothing about our lives anymore.

I've noted the reasons why people can drift apart in other posts. Some of those include:

A major life change (marriage, kids, etc.)

Someone moves far away

A job change that places major demands on the person

One person begins to hang out with a different crowd

When both people experience such lifestyle changes simultaneously (e.g., both graduate from college at the same time), the changes don't feel nearly as drastic, and the adjustment process can is almost seemless. But when only one person changes course, the other is often left with a major void in his or her life.

This happened to me a few years ago. My closest friend -- the best man at my wedding, in fact -- moved to a city 5 hours away from me. Though we see each other occasionally, our friendship hasn't been the same since. If I'm lucky, I'm able to get a hold of him via phone call or text once a month now, and arranging an outing is always a tall order.

It's amazing how people in whom you once confided with some of your deepest secrets can become mere acquaintances over time -- a phenomenon I like to call relationship atrophy.

Sure, some people can pick up where they left off like nothing -- even if they last spoke several years ago.

But in most cases, decreased proximity can have a disadvantageous effect on a relationship. Is it any wonder that most long distance relationships end up failing?

For those who truly want the relationship to last, no "barrier" -- whether distance, work, or other circumstances -- can undermine the relationship.

However, it takes time and effort on the part of both individuals to see that through. If only one is contributing, said relationship will be on the road to ruin.

Comments

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