If you don't do THIS, others will step over you

Alexander Hamilton (1755-1804), the first treasury secretary of the United States and the subject of the hit Broadway musical Hamilton, once said:

"Those who stand for nothing fall for anything."

Hamilton sure hit the nail on the head with that one.

I understand that not everyone is naturally bold and assertive. Many of us -- particularly the ones who call ourselves introverts -- hate drawing any attention to ourselves.

It isn't a matter of changing your personality, for as I've stressed in other posts, you should never change your personality just to appease other people.

It's about standing up for yourself when people level criticisms at you that are unfair or blatantly false. It's about defending yourself against insults to your character. It's about not letting someone get away with trying to sully your reputation.

But Hamilton's quote goes beyond merely standing up for oneself. Maybe there's a cause you're deeply passionate about -- feeding the poor, saving the environment, finding homes for stray animals -- and people won't know about it (or take action) unless you allow your voice to be heard. We can take charge in support of causes we deem bigger than ourselves.

Just because you don't have the loudest voice in the room doesn't mean you have to silence it.

Stand up for what you believe in and what you think is right, even if it puts relationships you have with certain people in jeopardy.

One thing is for sure: Whether your boss has been treating you like garbage or your ex girlfriend doesn't stop pestering you even after you broke up with her, you need to speak up in order to effect change.

It doesn't mean you have to be rude or condescending. You can be firm and tactful at the same time. The aim is not to bicker, but to get some concession out of the other -- whether it's an apology or a commitment to provide aid.

No one is going to do the work for you. If you are intent on achieving something, don't give up. Stand up for your beliefs. Defend your principles with conviction. Fight for the change you want to see in your life -- or in the world itself.

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

Understand People

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