This is even WORSE than being alone...

If one of your New Year's Resolutions is to ease the pain of loneliness, I have news for you: Being in the wrong company can be far worse, as such feelings are only magnified.

Ask yourself this: Do you really think you'd feel lonelier by yourself, or in a group of people you hardly know and may have little in common with?

As shocking as it may be to some, it's perfectly normal to enjoy your own company. You don't need other people to enjoy such hobbies as reading, writing, listening to music, and exercising. Besides, sometimes you need alone time to contemplate and catch a breath of fresh air after a tough day.

In essence, being alone and being lonely aren't one and the same. The former can actually be a plus -- something one seeks for their general well-being. The latter, on the other hand, is a negative condition one generally tries to extricate themselves from.

Having others around can be a boon if you know and trust them. In the absence of such rapport, however, things can get rather awkward. You might be afraid to say something dumb. You may have different interests, beliefs, or values than others in the group (e.g., everyone drinks or has kids except you). In the end, you may feel as though you don't quite fit in.

Many of us have encountered this at work and even at family functions. People have a tendency to form cliques built around certain commonalities (e.g., age, lifestyle, etc.), and they're not always receptive to outsiders whom they construe as being "different" in some way. For example, you may feel estranged from your siblings because not only are you seven years their junior, but you're the only one who isn't married and has no children.

It's a new year and the perfect time to rectify the false notion that if you seek and enjoy time alone, you're weird, socially awkward, or depressed in some way. At the same time, it's wrongheaded to assume that the company of others -- no matter who they are or how little we know them -- will always cure nagging feelings of loneliness. If such company leaves us feeling ostracized more than anything else, it can deepen those feelings.

For those of you who have been led to believe that you can't enjoy your own company, I encourage you to give it a shot. Read a good book at the library on your own. Go out for a walk and commune with nature. Watch a movie of your own choosing by yourself. You'll quickly realize that you don't need anyone else to feel entertained or fulfilled. Being alone can be a wonderful thing so long as you allow it to be!

At the end of the day, the only person who you their undivided attention is yourself. How refreshing is it to not have to vie for your own attention with anyone else?

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

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