In the past, we typically perceived someone as successful if they boasted possessions that signaled wealth (e.g., car, big house, fancy watch) and appeared to have loads of free time on their hands. We assumed it meant that their net worth was such that they had no real need to work hard. In our minds, they likely spent more time sunbathing in the Caribbean than churning out reports in the office.
However, the benchmarks we use to measure success have evolved over time -- not so much when it comes to material possessions, but in terms of overall lifestyle and work ethic.
Studies suggest that we are now more likely to perceive someone as being successful if they have little to no time available for leisurely pursuits due to the many responsibilities they shoulder.
For example, let's say Joe works 60 hours a week, has kids, and volunteers at a local non-profit. He has virtually no time available to meet up with friends, catch a movie, or enjoy other activities. Sue, on the other hand, works 38 hours a week, has no kids, and spends the bulk of her spare time relaxing at home. Even if Sue happens to be the one with a higher-paying job and nicer-looking house, chances are busy Joe will be regarded as more successful.
Back in the day, such a person might have been deemed a workaholic, a word that carried a negative connotation. Even worse, others may have suspected that either they had poor time management skills or were failing to carve out enough r&r (rest and relaxation) for themselves.
Why would being knee-deep in work and responsibility be a marker of success?
I suppose it gives people the impression that the individual is ambitious and hard-working, and that in turn is leading to job offers and other opportunities that translate into good money. Then there are those who assume that just because a couple has, say, three kids, they must have a hefty bank account given how expensive it is nowadays to raise children, pay for college, etc.
I think the shift also speaks to how society as a whole has changed. With the rapid expansion of technology -- namely the proliferation of social media -- people desire instant gratification. They yearn for bigger, better, and faster. Many employers demand that job applicants be able to juggle multiple responsibilities in a fast-paced environment. Society has painted it this way: If you're not constantly busy, with work up to your elbows, you're probably not succeeding in life.
I, of course, take exception to this notion.
Not everyone shares the same goals; not everyone is similarly ambitious. To some people, a good life merely consists of a decent-paying and slower-paced job and ample time spent with family. What's also worth noting is that just because a person doesn't draw attention to his accomplishments doesn't mean he's not a hard worker. Just because she doesn't mention how busy she is all the time, or doesn't fail to follow through on planned commitments with friends and loved ones, shouldn't lead one to assume she has all the time in the world.
Have you ever thought that maybe there are those who feign being busy? No one likes to admit that they have nothing to do when they leave work, much less no one to go out with on Friday night.
Much like they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, success is largely subjective. My definition of success is working hard to achieve something that you -- or people around you -- never thought possible. In my view, there's no clearer example of success than when you defy long odds to accomplish something truly remarkable, like starting up your own business. A successful is one who has a vision and sees to it -- no matter how difficult -- that it is realized. The higher the risk of failure, the sweeter the taste of triumph.
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