To put it into proper context, I'm talking about someone who jumps from one thing to another without hesistation, i.e., a job hopper or relationship hopper.
Unfortunately, the people I know who are prone to this sort of thing find themselves rather discontented.
Their problem is that they fall victim to grass is greener syndrome. They struggle with commitment, convincing themselves that:
- If or when their relationship becomes less exciting/more routine, the easiest way to recapture the excitement of a new relationship is to jump into a new one.
- If or when their job becomes too easy/routine, there's bound to be a better, more challenging one out there, leading them to jump ship at the first opportunity that presents itself.
In other words, they view jobs and relationships much like trying out a new sweater. If they're unhappy following a "trial" period, they return the product for a new one.
A question these individuals fail to ask themselves is: "Who's to say I won't get bored in my next job or relationship?"
It's a fact of life: Novelty wears off.
No relationship can feel exciting on the basis of newness forever; people settle into routines as they grow accustomed to one another.
That's why people in mature relationships need to make a conscious effort to inject variety into them. By traveling to new places, trying out new restaurants, and enjoying other novel experiences, you keep the relationship fresh. You enjoyed new things when you first got together -- that doesn't have to change whether you've been together 6, 9, or 25 years.
The same goes for jobs. There are always things you can do to prevent boredom and keep yourself challenged, from asking your boss for new projects to reorganizing your filing system.
Your life -- including your job and relationship -- is only as good as you make it. People complain of failing relationships or unfulfilling jobs and, rather than trying to come up with ways to right the ship, take the easy way out.
I think ending a relationship is justified when you have valid reasons for doing so -- physical or verbal abuse, cheating, lack of chemistry, and so forth. In the same vein, switching jobs make sense under certain circumstances -- you're in search of a better salary or benefits, your current job is adversely affecting your health, etc.
But jettisoning a job or relationship only because you're bored is a surefire recipe for discontentment. If you're not careful, you'll find yourself in a vicious cycle that can only lead to anxiety, depression, or other negative conditions.
If you are a hopper, please heed this advice: Rather than always thinking that something better awaits you, try to appreciate what you have and explore ways to make it work before pushing that panic button. And don't be afraid to ask for help, even if it's relationship or job counseling.
Comments