Fair question. Of course, there are situations where being mad at people is justified: The guy who stole your car, the customer service rep who accidentally billed you $500 more than she should have, the employer who failed to let you know they'd decided to go with a different candidate for the position you'd set your sights on.
But let's face it: sometimes we get mad at friends or relatives over the most trivial matters. We let our emotions get the best of us, an argument ensues, and one or both of us is left reeling. You may not talk to each other for a while, if ever again.
What many people fail to realize is that people are powerless unless we react react to their behavior.
By showing you're mad, you're essentially conveying that you care -- at least enough to get your emotions involved.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can judge you without your consent." Similarly, no one can upset you without your giving the green light either.
I've said it time and time again: Life isn't really about what happens to us. Instead, it revolves around what we do with what happens to us -- how we react to a given situation and go from there.
You can either let not getting a job destroy you mentally, or you can use the unfortunate outcome to more aggressively go after other opportunities you know will help you thrive professionally. Further, you can get mad at a friend for leaving you hanging, or you can say you won't let yourself get so bothered by it and resolve not to invite her to your next outing until she apologizes or takes the initiative to invite you elsewhere.
Getting angry isn't a constructive way to deal with conflict. If anything, it plays right into the hands of the other person. They'll come to realize that you care enough to get all bent out of shape, so they'll persist in their umbecoming behavior.
A better alternative? Speaking firmly while keeping one's emotions at bay. This demonstrates that while their behavior rubbed you the wrong way, you have far too many things to do (and people to see) to let their actions consume you.
Far more powerful than anger is indifference. Why? Because the person who cares the least in the relationship holds the most power. Chances are they're willing to walk, though the other person is not.
While refraining from ever being upset is impossible, we certainly wield more control over our emotions -- positive and negative -- than we realize.
By showing you're mad, you're essentially conveying that you care -- at least enough to get your emotions involved.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can judge you without your consent." Similarly, no one can upset you without your giving the green light either.
I've said it time and time again: Life isn't really about what happens to us. Instead, it revolves around what we do with what happens to us -- how we react to a given situation and go from there.
You can either let not getting a job destroy you mentally, or you can use the unfortunate outcome to more aggressively go after other opportunities you know will help you thrive professionally. Further, you can get mad at a friend for leaving you hanging, or you can say you won't let yourself get so bothered by it and resolve not to invite her to your next outing until she apologizes or takes the initiative to invite you elsewhere.
Getting angry isn't a constructive way to deal with conflict. If anything, it plays right into the hands of the other person. They'll come to realize that you care enough to get all bent out of shape, so they'll persist in their umbecoming behavior.
A better alternative? Speaking firmly while keeping one's emotions at bay. This demonstrates that while their behavior rubbed you the wrong way, you have far too many things to do (and people to see) to let their actions consume you.
Far more powerful than anger is indifference. Why? Because the person who cares the least in the relationship holds the most power. Chances are they're willing to walk, though the other person is not.
While refraining from ever being upset is impossible, we certainly wield more control over our emotions -- positive and negative -- than we realize.
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