Avoid this common relationship mistake

Many of us get into relationships and fall into one common trap: losing one's self-identity.

Both individuals spend so much time together that they neglect their personal needs and interests -- the ones independent of the relationship.

This can only lead to trouble on several fronts.

For one, when two people are attached at the hip, especially early on in the relationship, they may eventually settle into routines and grow bored of each other.

Both people should continue to cultivate the hobbies they enjoyed before they hooked up. Similarly, they should continue working on goals -- career-related or otherwise -- that they set out to achieve when they were single.

Not only does this ensure continual progress in their personal or professional lives, but it means they have something they can share with one another that goes beyond themselves. This, in turn, keeps the relationship fresh.

Giving each other space is doubly beneficial: it affords you the opportunity to miss each other, and it allows the two of you to focus on other things in your life that matter to you.

At the end of the day, you're still two separate people with different goals, dreams, hobbies, and preferences. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean those have to overlap.

In fact, they shouldn't, because then you'd merely be compromising who you are. If your partner tries to prevent you from pursuing your own goals and partaking in activities you love because they don't align with his or hers, you're in the wrong relationship.

As I've noted in earlier posts, one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone gets into a relationship and forgets their friends exist. (A couple of friends have pulled this on me in the past.) In most cases, once that relationship goes awry, the person goes crawling back to their jaded friends, but at that point it's too late.

In sum, it is never a good idea to relinquish your individuality when you enter into a relationship. You can enjoy doing things together as a couple while nurturing interests and other aspects of your life that make you unique.

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