Skip to main content

Your relationship needs THIS to thrive

They say variety is the spice of life. But it's also the spice of relationships.

Infusing variety into your relationship keeps it fresh and exciting.

Remember the so-called honeymoon stage? You know, the one where you and your partner were getting to know each other and every date seemed like a new adventure?

Neither of you had to put much effort into the relationship, your hormones were raging, and any flaws were as yet undiscovered. It's as if you were floating on cloud nine.

However, as time passed, the intense passion gave way to a calmer, more mature phase where you weren't all about jumping each other's bones. You grew accustomed to and comfortable around one another. Your foibles were put on your display and your relationship was tested in a number of ways.

If you managed to weather such storms and opted to stay together in spite of all the negative qualities about each other that came to light, there's no question that the two of you share a deep, abiding love.

However, just like a car, a relationship needs maintenance. Once you're well past the honeymoon stage, you must invest time and effort to keep the relationship exciting. Otherwise, you'll fall into a routine and risk growing bored of one another.

The surest way to keep it exciting is by adding variety. Travel to an exciting new destination every year. Check out new restaurants around town. Surprise each other with little notes and gifts like you did when you first got together. Learn a new skill together, or work on new projects around the house.

The reason the honeymoon stage seemed so exhilarating is because you were doing things together for the first time. The good news is that even if you've been together for a month, a year, or 20 years, you can still aim for novel pursuits and experiences.

There's nothing wrong with being comfortable in the relationship, as it's to be expected when two people have been together for a while. But becoming a little too comfortable -- complacent, if you will -- can lead one or both partners to feel bored, dissatisfied, and/or taken for granted.

Again, both partners should make a conscious effort to enrich the relationship with unexpected surprises and experiences. Being spontaneous and unpredictable can go a long way toward making your partner itch for more, which enhances the relationship in a huge way.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...