Many of these hapless guys say they do everything to gain women's favor -- buy them flowers and candy, send them romantic texts, call them every so often to see how they're doing -- but it still lands them in the friend zone. Still others say they can't understand why women go for the jerks they claim to loathe.
It is true that what many women say they want -- and what they actually go for -- aren't always in alignment.
Here's what I've observed:
Most women don't go looking for jerks who will mistreat them. No one wishes to be treated like dirt -- unless, of course, they harbor low self-esteem and feel they deserve that. But that is the exception rather than the rule.
No, what most women want is confidence. Though they may not say it directly, women really do want the man to be in charge, whether in the bedroom or outside of it.
Does this mean they want an alpha male type who will make every single decision for them?
Not at all. What they want is a man who is comfortable in his own skin -- one who can make sound arguments as to why he thinks his decision is best.
Most important, women want a man who will call them out on their BS -- in a tactful way, of course. Women DO NOT want to be able to step all over their man. That does nothing to build attraction. If anything, it makes him look weak and more like the friend whose shoulder she'll cry on when her boyfriend is being a "jerk" again.
Women like men who exude masculinity. They want someone in whose arms they can feel secure and protected. While it's normal for men to show emotion at times (especially during a death or other unfortunate circumstance), being overly sensitive will not help a man in the love department.
Many men fail to grasp that you can't buy a woman's affection with gifts and incessant romantic overtures.
A little romance is always good, but it should be mixed in with confidence, mystery, intelligence, and other such traits women find irresistible. Women like to be kept on their toes -- it stirs up all kinds of emotions in them. As much as they may deny it, women like to be put in their place. They like the man to be in control. A little aggressiveness can work wonders. On the flip side, nothing kills women's libido more than a man who's overly whiny, sensitive, and needy.
And a man shouldn't feel guilty arguing with his partner when he feels it's justified. Women don't want men to let them get away with everything. They want a man who will assert his place in the relationship.
Though much of this may sound counterintuitive, it's really the truth when it comes to building attraction. Women like men who are confident, strong, ambitious -- men who go for what they want (especially in the bedroom). Those who say they're simply looking for "nice, sweet guys" are probably being insincere. They want a guy who CAN be nice and sweet, but they also want him to show backbone and that he's the man in the relationship.
Can any of you ladies vouch for this? Please feel free to share your comments -- I'd love to read them!
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