How to know if you're settling for LESS

The expression "settling for less" gets thrown around quite loosely, but what many people fail to realize is that it is entirely subjective.

One's idea of settling less may not jibe with someone else's.

While you may perfectly content with a GUESS purse, your gaudy friend may feel you're settling for less unless you opt for a more luxurious brand, like Coach or Louis Vuitton.

Or, while you're happy to hook up with average-looking but highly intelligent guys, your sister may insist that you're settling for less unless you set your sights on guys who are a "9" or better in the appearance department.

Furthermore, you may be told you can do better if you are not the CEO of your company, but what if you're happy having a less taxing, lower-paying job if it means spending more quality time with friends and family?

This type of thinking is seriously misguided.

The fact is that people have different tastes and disparate desires. Some of us are higher maintenance than others. Some of us are just easier to please.

Therefore, to tell someone he is "settling for less" is to say "hey, if I were in your shoes, I'd be more selective."

Just because John thinks a Nissan Maxima is better than a Toyota Corolla doesn't mean you have to feel the same way. Maybe you find greater value in a car that is more compact and energy-efficient. Given the higher cost and added features of a Maxima (some of which are difficult for non-car enthusiasts to learn how to use), perhaps you feel that choosing such a car is settling for less. Maybe simpler is more to you.

To always assume that others think the same way and like the same things we do is preposterous. We don't all judge things by the same standards.

The next time someone insinuates that you're settling for less, simply reply with this: "One person's trash is another's treasure."

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog