How being a kid is like being a parent

Being a kid is similar to being a parent in that someone else usually dictates and/or influences many of the decisions you make.

As a child, you answer to your parents and abide by their rules. As a parent, your spouse and kids exert a major influence on your choices.

Either way, your flexibility is limited, as other people in your life play a chief role in your overall lifestyle.

Things are markedly different in our late teens/early 20s, however, as we transition into young adulthood. For most people, the college years are the only time in our lives where we're responsible for -- and answer to -- no one but ourselves.

I don't look back on my childhood fondly. My parents got divorced when I was only 3, and my father was extremely overprotective of me. Having to go from one house to another each week was not fun in the slightest. Middle school and high school were largely forgettable.

College, on the other hand, afforded me the opportunity to reinvent myself. I relished the freedom to create my own schedule and chart my own future. It was the only time in my life where I had the flexibility to do virtually anything I wanted without having to consult anyone else.

Now that I'm married, things are a little different. I have to run things by my wife, and most of my decisions affect her just as much as they do me. And let's not forget that as adults we also answer to our boss at work.

I suppose one goes back to living a more carefree life a la college in retirement, once the kids have moved out for good. But not really, as one worries about the well-being of their kids every day for their entire lives.

Do you agree that, in some ways, being an adult parallels childhood?

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog