Skip to main content

Does looking for love work?

It does, but only to a certain degree.

Surely, one must put themselves out there in order to be noticed. A partner won't magically fall in your lap, and being holed up in your room all day greatly diminishes your prospects.

But you don't want to overdo it either. A girl I used to work with treated virtually every guy she met in the workplace as a possible love interest. Vetting every man or woman you come across does come off as desperate.

That's why, in the world of dating, it's better to work smarter, not harder.

Go to places where people with whom you share a certain hobby are likely to be. If you want to date a bookworm, head to the library. If dancing is your thing, you might want to sign up for salsa lessons. If a partner with a great physique is atop your list, you ought to be spending time at the gym.

You get the idea. You want to frequent places where you're bound to find people whose interests mirror or at least complement yours. In other words, you have to look for love in all the right places.

And that place could very well be the internet. On eHarmony, you can begin receiving matches within minutes of completing a Relationship Questionnaire. And who's to say you can't meet someone through a friend of a friend on Facebook?

Then again, many people report meeting their special someone when least expected; they say it happened while they were simply busy living life and not deliberately looking for anyone.

You just never really know how and when the right person will present themselves. But one thing's for certain: You should never give up on love. There's someone for everyone in this crazy world. You just have to keep your options open.

And, yes, you should put yourself out there every once in a while, but don't force it! If you are finding that you don't click with someone, or that he or she doesn't seem as interested in you as you are in them, don't waste your valuable time: just move on.

And don't get into a relationship until both of you are ready to get into one. If you're not on the same page from the beginning, things can and will deteriorate very quickly.

Again, it's all about working smarter, not harder. Zero in on places where you'd find a Mr. or Mrs. Right and go there.

Don't lose hope! The person for you may pop up at any moment!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put