Skip to main content

Why people let us down

How many times have you relied on someone for help or a favor, only to be left in the lurch?

Granted, there are some people out there who are truly dependable; maybe it's a parent, a sibling you grew up with, or a best friend.

But let's face it -- such people are in the minority.

The fact of the matter is that most people are only out for themselves. Even when it comes to doing a favor for someone, they're cognizant of what they can get out of the relationship. Very rarely do people act for purely unselfish reasons.

You might be thinking that this is a very cynical outlook on life, but it's the truth. Even my closest friends have let me down on several occasions by taking a course of action that was more beneficial to them -- at my expense.

The saying, "You can't get everything you want in life" is especially valid when you're dealing with people. At the end of the day, self-gain is the driving force behind most people's decisions. If giving you a ride, lending you money, or helping you move to your new house is too much of an inconvenience, people will find an excuse not to lend you a hand.

Everyone is selfish -- albeit in varying degrees. To say otherwise is to deny the basic essence of human nature. People put themselves first.

I don't dispense my trust equally to everyone. For example, I have co-workers who will take every opportunity to step on someone if it means their coming out ahead.

I used to give away my trust easily until several people in my life took advantage of it.

I used to bend over backwards for anyone until I realized they began to take advantage of my gentle, giving nature.

Now, I'm far more judicious and discriminating when it comes to social relationships. There are people I know who seem to prioritize quantity -- having as many friends as possible -- over quality, but I'm the exact opposite. If I have a choice between a circle of four or five people in my life who I can really count on versus 100 fickle individuals whose loyalty comes into question every so often, I'll gladly choose the former.

While social relationships are essential to our well-being, we shouldn't become overly reliant on any one relationship. There's a lot to be said for self-reliance, for at the end of the day, you're the only person you can always depend on.

Comments

Valerie said…
I soooo totally agree with what you have said. I have become quite a bit more cynical about people as the years have passed.
Sunbird said…
Agree, thank u so much, Sir

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...