Should a cheater be forgiven?

Many people vow never to forgive those who have cheated on them, and they're within their rights to do so.

Here's my take:

If a cheater shows immense contrition -- he or she issues a genuine, heartfelt apology -- then maybe they deserve to be forgiven.

However, this in no way means that you ever have to trust or want to reconcile with them ever again.

After such a flagrant breach of trust, how can you ever expect the person not to repeat the offense?

Surprisingly, many people with hearts of gold give cheaters a second chance. I simply wouldn't be able to do that if I were cheated on.

If I cheated on someone -- though I neither have nor ever would -- I wouldn't expect my partner to take me back, as I know the irreparable damage it can cause a relationship and on the wronged partner's psyche.

The cheating partner has no right to push the other person to get back with him or her. Once he or she says "no," the person should respectfully back off.

People can try to come up with every excuse in the book for cheating -- from being drunk to feeling seduced -- but cheating is inexcusable.

A person who genuinely loves their partner and honors their commitment to be loyal in the relationship resists any and all outside temptations.

You can feel attracted to other people without acting on those impulses.

If the relationship is in tatters, you should end it graciously BEFORE you even entertain the thought of being unfaithful. It's all about thinking about the other person's feelings and not just your own.

I think some, not all, people deserve to be forgiven, but I'll reiterate: It does not mean they're worthy of a second chance. It doesn't even mean you have to be friends.

It's just an acknowledgement that what they did was out of character -- a huge mistake they "probably" wouldn't repeat if given a second opportunity.

Would you take back a cheater? Why or why not?

2 comments:

Ema said...

Never!

Anonymous said...

Not that I believe he will ever WANT to come back, I will NEVER take him back!