An interesting thought about love...

Isn't it ironic how there are so many people in relationships with partners they don't really love, and so many single folks who are dying to be in relationships with people they do love -- but can't?

Let's break both scenarios down.

In the first case, people might be involved with people they don't love for several reasons:

They're with them for their money
They were on the rebound after their last relationship ended in failure
They don't want to be alone
They have no other options at the moment
They're trying to please their parents and/or friends
For purely physical reasons

And here are some reasons why a person may love someone, but can't be romantically involved with them:

He or she is already taken
The person doesn't have the nerve to ask them out or try to take the friendship to the next level
They don't want to jeopardize the friendship they already have
The individual doesn't feel he or she is "good enough" for the other (i.e., they're out of the person's league)
The other person doesn't want a serious relationship right now

Both scenarios can be a real bummer. It's hard to pinpoint what's worse: being with someone you don't love, or being unable to be with the one you do. Either way, the person finds himself wholly unhappy.

Life is too short to be in either situation. We should all strive to find real love -- someone with whom we're truly compatible. If you get stuck with someone you're truly not happy with, it can only lead to bitterness, resentment, and possibly cheating.

If you have found someone you truly love, don't keep such feelings bottled up. Express how you feel sooner than later. If, after making a conscious effort to woo the object of your desire, you realized there's really no hope, then concede you did your best and move on to someone who can reciprocate your feelings and efforts.

Be open to the possibility that your situation can change and it will. But you have to do your part to make it a reality.

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog