Skip to main content

You won't be happy without THIS...

If there's one thing that inhibits happiness and reaching one's full potential, it's a lack of freedom to make one's own decisions.

It's no surprise that most of us eagerly await our 18th birthday, when we're finally old enough to hit up clubs, smoke, and vote. It's also the age most of us kiss our parents goodbye and embark on our college journey.

Can you imagine living with your parents your whole life? You'd never have the opportunity to make your own decisions, having to submit to the orders and whims of those whose roof you live under. Needless to say, that kind of arrangement would wear thin on you quickly.

The same applies to relationships. If you're with someone who orders your food for you at restaurants without letting you get in a word edgewise, your freedom is being trampled on. We've all heard horror stories of domineering partners who rob their significant other of their voice in the relationship. From decorating the home to such trivial details as where to grab lunch, these individuals want to call all the shots without their partner's input.

Then there are those controlling bosses who take the liberty of micromanaging everything their subordinates do. They demand to be kept in the loop on everything from office supplies to office politics.

In all cases, we're being held back by other people. Before long, we begin to feel so stultified that ending the relationship or finding another job, for example, starts to look like the more attractive option.

We can't live up to our potential and achieve fulfillment unless we have some latitude to exercise our options. 

Studies show that people are happier in jobs and relationships where they have some say in what goes on.

If you feel your voice isn't being heard, have a heart-to-heart with your partners, parents, boss or whoever else is under the misguided impression that you can't or shouldn't make decisions on your own account. If that doesn't work, maybe it's time for a new job, relationship, or living situation.

Don't let yourself be used as a pawn. Stand up for yourself and demand to be heard. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put