Seeking others' approval can lead to this

The more you seek validation from other people for your actions, the less happier in life you'll be.

Lao Tzu said it best: "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." Abraham Manslow, for his part, said, "Be independent of the good opinion of other people." Another similarly powerful quote comes from Vernon Howard: "“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.”

I think that there are some genuinely good people out in the world, and human beings do need to cultivate social relationships in order be well-adjusted members of society. But there are just as many selfish, inconsiderate ones willing to tear you down just to feel better about themselves. A person's opinion should never matter as much as our own. Eleanor Roosevelt was once quoted as saying that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Some people need others' approval in order to feel better about themselves, whether it comes in the form of compliments at work or likes on Facebook. There's nothing wrong with a pat on the back every now and then, so long as you don't become heavily dependent on others to feel good about yourself.

Happiness comes from within. Why get so hung up on others' opinion of you when they can let you down at any given moment? Again, not everyone in your life is going to disappoint you, but why stake your happiness on what someone who doesn't know you as well as you know yourself thinks or says about you?

As long as my family, spouse, kids, friends, and pets love me, that's all the validation I really need. I don't want coworkers -- people whom, like me, are just there to make money -- telling me how I should live my life. Nor do I need neighbors, acquaintances, or others I may stumble upon randomly --- people who don't pay my bills and couldn't care less about my welfare -- butting into my business.

We only have one life to live -- one we should not waste by giving others control over it.

Comments

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