Pick the RIGHT people to be in your life

No matter how hard you try to make people happy, some of them will simply take you for granted. Many of these individuals will be oblivious to or fail to appreciate all you do for them. It's these kinds of people you should not keep in your life.

You don't want to associate yourself with people who only care you exist when they need something -- when it's convenient for them. They may consider themselves your friends, but they're anything but. True friends are not users, nor are they opportunists.

Real friends are there for you through the thick and thin. They understand that the cornerstone of a strong friendship is giving with one hand and taking with the other. There is absolutely no place for selfishness, envy, or jealousy in a friendship or relationship. These all serve to undermine the trust and goodwill cultivated between two people.

More importantly, never seek the company of people who demand that you change something about yourself. Who are they to dictate how you should think or behave? True friends will appreciate you for who you are and gravitate toward the "authentic" you. The right friend or partner will see you as enhancing their life. They don't want you to change because they're happy with what you bring to the table here and now.

And just because you've known someone for a long time doesn't mean you should feel compelled to save a sinking ship. If the friendship or relationship isn't working out anymore, free yourself of that individual so that you can move on and meet new people who can positively impact your life. There's a season for every relationship -- one that season has passed, it's okay to let go.

The right people in your life are those that will support you every step of the way. They don't always tell you what you want to hear; instead, they provide constructive feedback and share what they think is ultimately the best course of action for you to take in a given situation. The right individuals pick you up rather than drag you down.

While friends and partners don't complete us -- only we can do that -- they enhance our lives in a big way. If you don't feel you can trust someone, don't let your guard down. Let people earn your trust. The best things in life are worth waiting for.

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog