Dare to be DIFFERENT

Take a moment to ask yourself these questions:

To what extent do you strive to live up to society's expectations of you?
How frequently do you try to do what everyone else does, only because that's the so-called "norm"?
How often do you do things to appease others just so that you're liked and accepted?

We live in a society that promotes a herd mentality rather than individuality. It's normal to be concerned about what others think of us, but some people follow the crowd to the exclusion of their feelings, likes, dislikes, and beliefs.

How did we become like this? Why do so many of us care so deeply about what people who don't pay our bills and who likely won't be at our side when we're dying say and think about us?

It all goes back to the days of early civilization, when cavemen roamed the earth. Back then, people had to band together in order to ensure their survival. The more people they could collaborate with, the better their chances of fending off dangerous animals, procuring food for themselves and their families, and so on.

While associating with many people in modern society can be advantageous in different ways -- say, for networking or babysitting -- that doesn't mean that we should go to such great lengths to be liked by everyone.

Yes, we can be similar to others in our thoughts and behavior, but we all bring unique perspectives and quirks to the table:

Some of us love to drink, while others wouldn't be caught dead with a beer in hand
Some of us love sex. Some of us don't.
Some of us are quiet and withdrawn, and there are those who are highly gregarious
Some of us are attracted to nerds, goths, skinny people, heavier people, etc.
There are believers and non-believers
There are liberals and conservatives
Some of us love and aim to have kids; a few of us have no parental itch
Some of us aim to be the CEO of a large corporation, while others would be just as happy mopping floors

It disturbs me when people try to impose their worldview on others around them. All of us are free to do and think as we wish, but that gives us no right to foist our beliefs and values on others -- nor they on us.

Never be afraid to be the real you. Let your genuine self shine no matter how much society tries to cajole you into thinking or acting a certain way.

Why give co-workers so much power over you when you know everyone is only there to make money? Why try to conform to your friends' or partner's ideals when you know your relationship can end at any point in time (we've all been there)?

Unless the individual in question pays your bills, has gotten you out of major jams on numerous occasions, or has done something that makes you indebted to him or her (e.g., saved your life), there's no reason to care so much about what that person thinks of you.

We come into this world alone, and we leave alone just the same. The only person you should aim to please is yourself. Remain in control of your thoughts and actions. Never let another human being hold sway over how you should live your life. Don't change unless you want to!

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

How to Understand People

Search This Blog