Lying benefits no one

As tempting as it may be to lie (even when it's those seemingly innocuous white ones), it is always best to refrain from doing so.

As soon as someone catches you in a lie, or vice-versa, it raises red flags, let alone a bunch of questions. However serious the lie, the act constitutes a breach of trust.

You begin to ask yourself things like:

Why couldn't the person just be sincere?
Is he or she a chronic liar?
What happens if more serious lies are on the horizon (e.g. cheating, stealing money, etc.)

It's better to be forthright with someone than lie and later see it blow up in your face. For example, let's say you accidentally bump into your wife's parked car while you're pulling out of the driveway. Your wife comes back from a business trip and notices a huge dent on her bumper. (Assume it left no visible damage on your car.)

You could be dishonest and say you have no clue as to how it happened. But once your wife puts 2 and 2 together, she may discover you to be the culprit, making her question whether she can trust you in the future.

We've all heard the saying "ignorance is bliss." Some of us think that lying is worth it if it means preventing an argument or that someone won't get hurt. But this is wrong-headed thinking. Even if the person becomes upset and needs a day or so to get over it, he or she will ultimately respect you more for it.

Comments

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

How to Understand People

Search This Blog