Skip to main content

We have a tendency to do this, and it's bad...

Most of us have a tendency to think about the things we don't have rather than the things we do. We often envy those who have something we lack rather than pity those who are far less fortunate than we are. I am guilty of this myself at times.

For example, I live near a stretch of school zones that takes a good 30 minutes to get through during rush hour on a bad day. Sometimes my drive to work (and back home) takes an hour -- mind you, I'm driving a distance of a little over 8 miles. That's how ugly the traffic gets here.

On these bad days-- it happened this morning, actually-- I feel the temptation to begrudge those who have a quick, easy commute. But then I stop and remind myself that there are many people in the world who would take that long commute in a heartbeat if it meant they could have a car to drive in -- or a home to drive to.

Far too many people envy friends, relatives and neighbors with bigger houses, flashier jewelry, or more luxurious cars.

What escapes them is that none of these things, as I've elaborated on in prior posts, make us happy in the long run. If they did, you wouldn't have so many rich celebrities and professional athletes with drug addictions and so many other problems.

What does make us happier is being appreciative for what we already have. Comparing yourself to those who are struggling out there -- of which there are far too many, unfortunately -- makes you happier about your current state. You then think,"Hey, I really don't have it that bad."

We need to stop assessing our lives through a lens of envy and competitiveness. Let us instead appreciate how blessed we are and look to help those who need a helping hand.

At the end of the day, what do you think will make you happier: buying a 60-inch flat-screen TV you probably don't need, or giving someone money to buy the first real meal he's eaten in weeks?

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with trying to move up financially and buying yourself things here and there. After all, we work hard for our money.

My main point is that some of the things we complain amount to little more than minutiae in the grand scheme of life.

Whenever we feel the urge to complain about traffic, not liking the food at a restaurant, or battling a cold, just remember: There are people out there whose lives are far worse.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...