Skip to main content

Do you live most in the past, present, or future?

Obviously, we live in all of these at different moments. Whether we're past-, present, or future-oriented depends largely on how we're feeling at a given point in time.

For example, when something good happens, we tend to become very focused on the present and on the fruits that the favorable circumstance will bear in the future.

If we're feeling a little blue about our current prospects, we may start thinking back to a time when things were going more smoothly in our lives. The more optimistic among us, however, might look forward to brighter days ahead.

Many people say harping on the past isn't healthy, and I agree -- a line has to be drawn somewhere. But only by considering history -- our prior successes and failures, our earlier ups and downs -- can we can guide our behavior toward the ends we seek in the present and future.

In other words, you need to examine the past in order to build on your triumphs and prevent making the same mistake twice (or more times). And let's face it: relishing the past isn't all bad. How else can we appreciate the fondest memories we hold of important life events, from our high school graduation and first kiss to watching our kids take their first steps.

Some people live by adages like "live for today" and "seize the day." While it certainly has merit -- we should try to live our lives to the fullest -- it shouldn't prompt people to make reckless decisions, like driving drunk or getting into massive debt.

I think a healthy, well-adjusted life includes all three of these:

  • Turning to the past for guidance on the best course of action to take now in the future, not to mention summoning up fond memories
  • Being conscious of the decisions we make in the present, which have important implications for our future
  • Planning for and being optimistic about what lies ahead
Do you live most in the past, present, or future?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put