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DON'T chase after people who don't give a damn

If you found yourself chasing after friends or love interests last year who didn't put as much time and effort into your relationship as you, don't let this habit carry over into the new year. End it now!

There's no reason why you should pine for someone's attention or company when your own should be sufficient.

Sure, we all like to be in a relationship and have at least a couple of friends we can call and meet up when we're bored or lonely.

But here's a key piece of information I'd like you to embed firmly in your mind: Friends and partners enhance our lives, not complete them. 

 You should never feel that your life is incomplete without friends, a partner, children, and so on. After all, we came into this world alone, and will be leaving it in similar fashion.

Studies find that the more people enjoy their own company, the happier they are with their lives and the higher their self-esteem and self-worth.

I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't reach out to friends or love interests at all. It takes a concerted effort from both sides in order for a relationship to run smoothly. Indeed, relationships are about give and take.

But once you sense that you're pulling your weight but the other person isn't pulling theirs, that's when you ought to have a serious talk and get to the bottom of it.

Don't allow hurt feelings to fester. Ninety percent of the time, communication is the key to resolving conflicts between people. You never know -- the person on the other end might be inclined to do the same, but is just waiting for you break the stalemate.

If, after talking to him or her, you find that things don't change for the better, you might be better off ending the relationship or friendship. The bottom line is that people and relationships change with the natural course of time. Still, if one person values the relationship more than the other and visibly puts a lot more work into it, that relationship is bound to fail. The other person is going to feel used and eventually tire of things being so one-sided.

Again, if you found yourself in this situation last year or in prior years, now's the perfect time to veer in a new direction as far as your relationships and friendships are concerned. Don't let anyone take advantage of you. As I've said before on the blog, you are your closest friend or confidant. Your company should be sufficient. Never settle for being the only one to invest time and effort into a relationship. You're better than that!

Please reshare this post with your friends. For earlier posts, click here: How to Understand People
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