Why double dating is overrated

Now that my wife and I have gone on several double dates with friends and their partners over the years, I've come to the realization that double dating just isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Personally, I prefer hanging out with my friends, sans partners.

What I've noticed is that friends don't seem to act the same when in the presence of their partners. Many of them love serving up jokes when it's just us together, but when their partners are around, they hold back a bit. They try to be on their best behavior and come off as being wooden.

It also natural for one to want to cater to his or her partner's whims. For example, I've noticed that, while on a double date, it's much more likely for the night to end early because my friend's girlfriend wants to get some sleep or go with my friend somewhere else.

The more people you throw in the mix, the more political and watered down the outing becomes. Sometimes my friends become entirely different people on such occasions -- boring, quiet, and visibly restrained.

Thus, going on double dates hardly seems worth it. When I'm with my friends, I like laughing and being plain silly. If you're going to drastically change your demeanor just to appease your partner, maybe it's better to scrap the double dates and stick to outings where it's just you and your friend.

What's your opinion?

Click here for prior entries: How to Understand People

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog