Would you have sex with a friend?

For as long as I can remember, I've never been interested -- not in the slightest -- in having sex with any of my female friends. Sure, I've probably found one or two attractive, but I doubt I would have slept with them if I'd been given the opportunity to do so.

It's not worth it, in my view, to put a friendship in jeopardy for a night of passion. Just recently, I spoke to a girl I went to high school with. Shortly after her eight-year relationship with her boyfriend came to an end, she began a "friends with benefits" kind of deal with one of her male friends. It worked well for both parties in the beginning, as she was on the rebound and he just wanted no-strings-attached sex. Things got sticky, however, once she became emotionally invested. While she now wished to take things to the next level, he claimed to be too busy for a relationship -- and he made it clear he wasn't going to change his stance.

My high school buddy insists that the guy "treats her as if she were his girlfriend," even though he wishes not to put a label on whatever it is they have. I told her she should have known better than to have sex with a friend and expect to remain emotionally unattached. The guy isn't at all in the wrong here because he stated from the get-go that he did not want a serious relationship. She knew this, and went along with it anyway. Now it isn't fair to demand that he give her something he never promised.

This story illustrates the central point of this post: Having sex with a friend could damage a friendship beyond repair if things don't go according to plan. I recently submitted a post in which I stressed that a friends-with-benefits arrangement can result in heartbreak and resentment if only one person develops feelings for the other.

Now, if two friends start to fall in love -- whether or not sex is involved -- that has the makings of a fairy tale romance, that's for sure. But how often does this really happen?

Once someone sees a man or woman as a friend, it's hard to break free of that perception. A lot has been made of the so-called "friend zone" for a reason. We've heard countless stories of guys who fall hopelessly in love with one of their female friends, only to be used as little more than a shoulder to cry on.

If you're thinking of chasing after or sleeping with a friend, I strongly advise you against it. Don't risk losing what you and your friend already have. There are plenty of fish in the sea!

Would you have sex with a friend? Have you already done so?

For earlier posts, please click here: How to Understand People

Comments

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