How women put men in the FRIEND ZONE

Being put in the friend zone is a real drag. I would know -- because I've been there.

Before I hooked up with my now-wife, I got "friend-zoned" by a couple of girls. That was back when I knew little to nothing about how women think and what it takes for a man to draw them to him like magnets.

Here are some telltale signs that a woman has put a man in the dreaded friend zone:

She hardly touches him
She fends him off when he tries get affectionate (e.g. tries to kiss or put his arm around her)
She talks to him about other guys and uses him as a shoulder to cry on
She makes excuses for why she can't see or go out with him
She leaves him hanging on a number of occasions
Once she picks up on his advances, she ends phone conversations quicker, and his texts and phone calls go unanswered
She calls him her buddy or brother

I think that when a woman is cognizant of a man's feelings for her and yet she continues to string him along, she is doing the unconscionable. A good friend will be upfront about how she feels and give him the option to pull the plug on the friendship if he feels a platonic one just isn't good enough.

Once a guy knows that she just doesn't see him as anything more than a friend, he should move on and look for someone else. Unfortunately, most guys in this situation don't think this way. They double down on their efforts to reel her in, which only leads to deeper feelings of anger, resentment, and despair. This, in turn, seriously jeopardizes the friendship.

There's someone for everyone out there. It's quite normal to be rejected by one or more people throughout our lives. Some of us wind up falling for our friends, never to see those feelings returned in kind.

I give all my friends this valuable piece of advice: Never give up on love. The right person will come along when you least expect it. To reach the promised land, though, you'll inevitably encounter a few bumps in the road.

Do you agree? Have you ever been in the friend zone before, or, put someone in it? Please share your comments on Google + or in the comments section of the blog.

For prior entries on this blog, please click here: How to Understand People

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog