What is the main reason why women decide to have kids?
(1) Instinct: They have a biological imperative to do so, i.e., they want to know what it's like to carry the baby in their womb.
(2) Upbringing: They were taught that every woman should have kids, and there's no reason to question that.
(3) Societal pressure: They feel pressure from society to join the ranks of the mothers of the world.
While I think the first reason holds the most weight, the two reasons that follow also play a role in a woman's urge to have kids.
Unfortunately, many women who have opted not to have are kids are derided by coworkers, friends, and even family members.
It seems many would rather have a child -- even if they're not ready for the kind of responsibility that motherhood entails -- than have to stand up to these individuals and defend their position. This is a grave mistake far too many women make.
I understand many women find themselves racing against a biological clock, but no one should even consider having kids until they have all their other ducks in a row.
(1) Health: Are you in good health? It's important to pay your doctor a visit for a check up as soon as you decide you may want to start a family. If you find yourself overweight, he or she may put you on a diet, as high blood pressure, diabetes, and other health issues could make it a higher-risk pregnancy.
(2) Money: Are your finances in order? Between diapers, daycare, clothes, food, and a child's education, a kid can be expensive. It's critical that you earn enough from your job -- and have some money saved up -- to be able to afford the cost of raising a child.
(3) Is your partner on board? Are you absolutely sure that your boyfriend or husband supports your decision to have kids? If you have to think about that, it's probably not the right time to have them. Children require an immense investment of your time, money (see #2), and energy. It takes two to raise a child properly.
If you decide to pull a fast one on him (ala not taking your birth control pills), you are opening up a can of worms. Don't do anything like this without consulting him. Bringing a child into this world when only one parent truly wants it is nothing short of irresponsible. And don't ever think that the child will "change" your partner. If anything, it'll change him for the worse, as your decision to get pregnant can make him bitter and resentful toward you.
In closing, don't take the life-changing step of having a child just because your friend, sibling, or coworker is egging you on. Do it because (1) Both you and your partner want a child (2) You're in good health, and your financial situation is such that having a child will not leave you strapped for cash.
Do you think some women jump the gun when it comes to having kids?
For prior entries, please click here: How to Understand People