CAN'T-MISS tips for getting over a breakup

Most of us have been there at some point or another: You're in a relationship with someone, head over heels in love and convinced you have the makings of a fruitful marriage. Then, one day the two of you have a misunderstanding of some sort or an intense argument that either spells the end of the relationship or serves as the first of many spats to come. In the latter case, the relationship gets weaker and weaker over time until it becomes apparent that it has eroded into nothing.

Naturally, we're going to feel unhappy, depressed, even lost for some time after the breakup. Some find it very hard to cope with the reality that the person they thought they might be with for the rest of their life is out of the picture for good. But it doesn't all have to be gloom and doom.

What follows are three fantastic tips that will help you get back on your feet. Even if you've never  had to deal with a breakup, you'll want to read these tips should you ever find yourself in this  situation:

1. Allow yourself to grieve over the end of the relationship: Take all the time you need to cry and ruminate on the reasons why the relationship ultimately failed. For some of us, it can be a while before the reality of the breakup sinks in. Don't allow anyone to convince you that it's all a matter of simply "snapping out" of it. Depending on myriad factors like how long both people were together and whether they were engaged, getting over a breakup can take longer for some people than others.

2. Seek out the company of friends and loved ones: The company of your closest friends and relatives can go a long way in helping you feel better.If you don't feel like stepping outside your house, have them come over and treat them to a nice breakfast or lunch as a way of saying thanks. Just having someone listen to us and say "I've been there" can not only put us in a better mood, but it reassures us that there's a light at the end of the tunnel -- even if we're yet to see it at this juncture.

3. Do things to distract your mind: Whether you enjoy cooking, working out at the gym, reading, writing, or dabbling in art, hobbies are a great way to get our minds off the breakup. In fact, you can look at the breakup as a good thing: You now have more time and freedom to do things you might have put off while in the relationship, like losing weight, traveling the world, or finishing that novel you started.

4. Don't regret having gotten into the relationship: Because they're hurt and resentful following the breakup, many people have a tendency to lament ever having gotten involved with the person, just to make themselves feel better. "Why did I waste my time with this person?" they ask themselves. But this stroking of the ego isn't the right approach to take. Face it: You enjoyed great times with your ex, and it's okay to acknowledge that. He or she -- and the relationship itself -- likely taught you a few things along the way. Think of the relationship as having helped you grow into the person you are today.

5. Look forward to a bright future: One of the good things about a breakup is that it allows you to put things in perspective. Now you have a better idea as to the qualities you want or don't want in a partner. For example, perhaps your relationship taught you that you have little patience for someone who is always running late. Or, after being with someone who was always broke, you've decided that the next guy has to have a steady job.

Now that you've read the above tips, you'll be in a better position to get over a breakup in the future -- should you ever confront that situation.

What do you think about the tips? Which coping strategies have you used following a breakup? Are there any you would add to the list?

Please share this post with your friends. Thanks!

For earlier posts, click here: How to Understand People

No comments: