We know that trust and communication are essential to any relationship; I've elaborated on that in prior posts.
But here's an oft-overlooked element on which relationships also depend for survival, and one I studied in depth in most of my psychology classes: proximity.
Dictionary.com defines proximity as "nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation."
Have you noticed that the people you're often closest to at work or school are those who sit near you? Or that your closest friends are usually the ones who still live in the same city as you do?
This should come as no surprise to us.
Proximity is like a special glue that holds the relationship together. The closer we are to other people, the more likely it is for us to bond with them. Once someone in the relationship moves -- whether to a different cubicle at work or to a different home or city altogether -- the relationship tends to suffer.
Once you create distance between yourself and someone else, there are fewer opportunities in which the two of you can see and interact with each other. That, in turn, translates into fewer opportunities to share experiences and create memories.
Is it any wonder that most people find it so challenging to maintain long-distance relationships? When two people are apart for such a long time, they start to lose a sense of the things that helped them bond in the first place. Thankfully, we can maintain some semblance of proximity via Facebook, text messaging, and other media, but most people would agree that it isn't the same as conversing with someone face to face.
Moreover, you've probably noticed that you can be closer to one particular friend or relative at a given point in time, and to a different buddy or family member at another. This usually happens as a result of a spontaneous phone call or unexpected visit, which is all it really takes to reestablish proximity with someone.
From moving to changing life circumstances like marriage or children, there are myriad things that can cause proximity between two people to dissipate. We've all had relationships or friendships cease to exist because of insufficient contact. That's why it's so important for us to make the effort to call or visit those we truly care about every so often.
To read other entries on understanding people, click here: How to Understand People
But here's an oft-overlooked element on which relationships also depend for survival, and one I studied in depth in most of my psychology classes: proximity.
Dictionary.com defines proximity as "nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation."
Have you noticed that the people you're often closest to at work or school are those who sit near you? Or that your closest friends are usually the ones who still live in the same city as you do?
This should come as no surprise to us.
Proximity is like a special glue that holds the relationship together. The closer we are to other people, the more likely it is for us to bond with them. Once someone in the relationship moves -- whether to a different cubicle at work or to a different home or city altogether -- the relationship tends to suffer.
Once you create distance between yourself and someone else, there are fewer opportunities in which the two of you can see and interact with each other. That, in turn, translates into fewer opportunities to share experiences and create memories.
Is it any wonder that most people find it so challenging to maintain long-distance relationships? When two people are apart for such a long time, they start to lose a sense of the things that helped them bond in the first place. Thankfully, we can maintain some semblance of proximity via Facebook, text messaging, and other media, but most people would agree that it isn't the same as conversing with someone face to face.
Moreover, you've probably noticed that you can be closer to one particular friend or relative at a given point in time, and to a different buddy or family member at another. This usually happens as a result of a spontaneous phone call or unexpected visit, which is all it really takes to reestablish proximity with someone.
From moving to changing life circumstances like marriage or children, there are myriad things that can cause proximity between two people to dissipate. We've all had relationships or friendships cease to exist because of insufficient contact. That's why it's so important for us to make the effort to call or visit those we truly care about every so often.
To read other entries on understanding people, click here: How to Understand People
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