Last night, I submittted a post that centered on the fact that many people feel uneasy in overly quiet settings.
I wanted to take that very concept and focus now on silence experienced while in the presence of someone else.
There's something about quiet people that makes some of us uncomfortable. Some people feel that quiet people are as such because they "must be hiding something." Others liken the tight-lipped with serial killers and mass murderers who carry out horrific crimes. Still others just can't wrap their heads around why someone could be so reticent and presume them to be stuck-up or overly self-absorbed. (If you're a quiet person yourself, you've likely been in this situation before.)
This topic hits close to home because I have been a fairly quiet person my whole life (except through my writing). When I was a kid, my peers described me as weird and often teased me just to elicit some sort of reaction in me. When I finished high school and entered college, I became much more sociable, but to this day I've kept my taciturn demeanor mostly intact.
People who have a low tolerance for quietness in others don't quite understand that people are wired differently. Not all of us have a need to verbalize every little thing that crosses our minds. Not all of us speak before we think. Not all of us desire social interaction for extended periods of time. Not all of us are drawn to small talk.
These are the well-documented hallmarks of introversion. Just because a person is introverted doesn't mean he's shy -- it just means he draws energy inward and is predisposed toward mental stimulation and contemplation rather than social interaction.
When people can't grasp why someone is quiet, they try filling the gaps by describing them in whatever way seems fitting to them. It's just another example of people being made uncomfortable by those who are different -- those who don't necessarily follow the herd.
These individuals should at least make the effort to strike up a conversation with us quiet types before attempting to characterize us. Once we feel comfortable enough to come out of our shell, you'd be surprised at just how much we can add to a conversation.
I wanted to take that very concept and focus now on silence experienced while in the presence of someone else.
There's something about quiet people that makes some of us uncomfortable. Some people feel that quiet people are as such because they "must be hiding something." Others liken the tight-lipped with serial killers and mass murderers who carry out horrific crimes. Still others just can't wrap their heads around why someone could be so reticent and presume them to be stuck-up or overly self-absorbed. (If you're a quiet person yourself, you've likely been in this situation before.)
This topic hits close to home because I have been a fairly quiet person my whole life (except through my writing). When I was a kid, my peers described me as weird and often teased me just to elicit some sort of reaction in me. When I finished high school and entered college, I became much more sociable, but to this day I've kept my taciturn demeanor mostly intact.
People who have a low tolerance for quietness in others don't quite understand that people are wired differently. Not all of us have a need to verbalize every little thing that crosses our minds. Not all of us speak before we think. Not all of us desire social interaction for extended periods of time. Not all of us are drawn to small talk.
These are the well-documented hallmarks of introversion. Just because a person is introverted doesn't mean he's shy -- it just means he draws energy inward and is predisposed toward mental stimulation and contemplation rather than social interaction.
When people can't grasp why someone is quiet, they try filling the gaps by describing them in whatever way seems fitting to them. It's just another example of people being made uncomfortable by those who are different -- those who don't necessarily follow the herd.
These individuals should at least make the effort to strike up a conversation with us quiet types before attempting to characterize us. Once we feel comfortable enough to come out of our shell, you'd be surprised at just how much we can add to a conversation.
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