From what I've observed at work as well as on Facebook, there are three surefire ways to get people to like you more. I've dubbed this the "CIG Model" so that they're easier to remember:
1. Compliments: Let's face it: Everyone likes flattery, and this is an easy way to get on people's good side. Whether it's complimenting their shirt or their new car, people build positive feelings toward those who make them feel good. On Facebook, this is manifested in the form of a "like" or comment in response to a person's post.
2. Interest: When we show interest in people's lives, they become more interested in ours. If the posts I see on Facebook are any indication, people especially love to be asked questions about their kids. They also like when others express interest in their hobbies, where they do their shopping, and so on.
3. Giving stuff: It comes as no surprise that among the most highly regarded people in the office are those who always offer people snacks. I've noticed it isn't long before the ones benefiting from the free goodies go looking for them, i.e., searching the other person's drawer, on a daily basis.
Now, I think some people have a stronger need to feel liked and accepted than others. Although I agree that we should offer others a snack or throw a compliment their way from time to time, some people do it in excess, and it starts to feel like they're just trying to curry favor with you -- as with everyone else.
In other words, some people try too hard to be liked by everyone.
I think these individuals should accept the fact that it's okay to have a strictly professional relationship with certain people at work. Just because I don't barrage you with questions about your kids or recent cruise to the Bahamas doesn't mean I dislike you -- nor does it signify that I'm not interested in your life.
I usually ask people how their vacation went, and they might respond with, "It was great. I had lots of fun." Then I might say, "Glad you enjoyed yourself." Period. Short and sweet.
But some people at work assail others with endless questions once they're back from their trip. Why do I need to know every itty bitty detail?
I suppose some people love chit-chatting more than others, and they've realized that giving people attention, gifts, and compliments is a great way to break the ice every day.
Sorry, but that's just not me. I don't need others' validation that desperately. If anything, I become overly suspicious of those who are too nice and attentive, as it leads me to think they want something from me in disguise.
So the next time you want to know how you can get in someone's good graces, remember the CIG model.
What's your take on this?
1. Compliments: Let's face it: Everyone likes flattery, and this is an easy way to get on people's good side. Whether it's complimenting their shirt or their new car, people build positive feelings toward those who make them feel good. On Facebook, this is manifested in the form of a "like" or comment in response to a person's post.
2. Interest: When we show interest in people's lives, they become more interested in ours. If the posts I see on Facebook are any indication, people especially love to be asked questions about their kids. They also like when others express interest in their hobbies, where they do their shopping, and so on.
3. Giving stuff: It comes as no surprise that among the most highly regarded people in the office are those who always offer people snacks. I've noticed it isn't long before the ones benefiting from the free goodies go looking for them, i.e., searching the other person's drawer, on a daily basis.
Now, I think some people have a stronger need to feel liked and accepted than others. Although I agree that we should offer others a snack or throw a compliment their way from time to time, some people do it in excess, and it starts to feel like they're just trying to curry favor with you -- as with everyone else.
In other words, some people try too hard to be liked by everyone.
I think these individuals should accept the fact that it's okay to have a strictly professional relationship with certain people at work. Just because I don't barrage you with questions about your kids or recent cruise to the Bahamas doesn't mean I dislike you -- nor does it signify that I'm not interested in your life.
I usually ask people how their vacation went, and they might respond with, "It was great. I had lots of fun." Then I might say, "Glad you enjoyed yourself." Period. Short and sweet.
But some people at work assail others with endless questions once they're back from their trip. Why do I need to know every itty bitty detail?
I suppose some people love chit-chatting more than others, and they've realized that giving people attention, gifts, and compliments is a great way to break the ice every day.
Sorry, but that's just not me. I don't need others' validation that desperately. If anything, I become overly suspicious of those who are too nice and attentive, as it leads me to think they want something from me in disguise.
So the next time you want to know how you can get in someone's good graces, remember the CIG model.
What's your take on this?
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