Ever have trouble relating to others?

I'm in a stage of my life where I am having trouble relating to some of my friends and family. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but at certain times it makes for a little awkwardness.

My wife and I got married close to a year ago. We don't have kids, and we don't drink.

That last sentence tells the whole story. By neither having kids nor the interest to drink, you can build a clear divide between yourself and many of those closest to you.

I've noticed that people who have kids tend to drink. Some of those people admit that drinking helps them deal with the stress that children, married life, and their jobs bring.

I've also observed that those things I'm deeply interested in (reading, writing, museum hopping, movies) either don't appeal to these people or they just don't have the time for them.

As you've probably noticed from earlier posts, I am still ambivalent as to whether I want to have kids. Even if I decide to have one, I still won't be able to relate much to said friends and relatives, as their kids will already be in elementary school at that point.

I'll admit that when I'm among people with kids, I feel a little disconnected and left out. They go on and on about their kids while downing more and more beers. Is it any wonder my wife and I tend to feel out of place?

My closest friendship recently ended, in part, because my friend seemed unable to balance his family life (he has 2 kids) with his social one.

I guess the best thing I can do is aim for friends who are child-free like me and don't drink excessively.

Can you give an example of a time you couldn't relate to others?

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog