Skip to main content

Are women not attracted to quiet, introverted men?

Let's face it: The vast majority of people in the western world are extroverts -- they draw their energy outward and thrive on social interaction. We introverts, however, draw our energy inward and become heavily drained by too much social chatter. If introverts don't find a quiet room in which they can recharge, they simply cannot function properly.

Maybe it's just me, but I find there to be more introverted men than women. Men generally seem more predisposed to rolling up their sleeves and getting down to business -- they aren't as emotionally-charged and talkative, I find.

I have also noticed -- at least at the places I've worked -- that women are usually quicker than men to single out the "quiet one" in the office. "He is so quiet. Why doesn't he talk?" they might wonder. Though some guy may mention a thing or two in passing, it is the women who seem to harp on stuff like this.

So, that begs the big question: Does it actually turn a woman off when a guy is quiet and reclusive at first?

I would imagine it may turn those off who expect a guy to exude boldness and self-confidence. After all, most women expect to be asked out, and they may see a non-talkative, introverted guy as someone who would never muster up the courage to ask them out on a date.

Some women might also attribute other negative qualities to the guy on the basis of his quietness -- unfairly, I might add. It's only human nature to fill in the gaps by painting a complete portrait of the person in our heads. For example, some women might assume that since Joe in accounting is quiet, he is also boring, self-absorbed and bad in bed.

My hope is that there are some women out there who think differently. For example, I'm inclined to believe that introverted women themselves are accepting of introverted guys. I also surmise that even some extroverted women might find introverts to be a challenge. Perhaps those women are drawn to his mysteriousness, prompting them to want to dig deeper.

Would you say that all women dislike quiet, introverted guys?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...