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Too many compliments can make us cocky

Studies show that too many compliments can go to your head -- and fast. I can vouch for the veracity of these studies, as I've experienced this firsthand and have seen a few friends change dramatically as a result of too many compliments.

Let's face it: When people compliment us, it feels really good. Whether they're commending us on something we put together at work or complimenting us on our getup, compliments feed our egos and make us feel like a million bucks. They lead to increased feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. They validate something about us that we've likely put considerable effort into improving.

People thrive on positive feedback from others; it gives us the impetus to continue striving for improvement. When I lost roughly 25 pounds in 2013, I started getting more looks from women at the gym and at work.

It felt great considering the hours I was putting in at the gym and the willpower it took to cut back on my favorite goods. It's never fun to see your hard work and dedication go unnoticed. As human beings, we certainly place a premium on what others say about us.

Even if we're married or single, compliments serve as a form of positive reinforcement in our lives. They remind us that it's worth it to meet our goals and continue working toward new ones.

But we needn't let it go to our heads. I'll admit that once I saw how much attention I was getting from women, I began to expect it everywhere I went. I figured that if they made eye contact with me, they must be checking out. I kept buying new clothes and trying to find ways to look more attractive -- just so I could get even more looks. It became like a drug, with the ego needing more and more replenishment.

I have a friend going through something similar. Known to always cut his hair short, he decided one day that he wanted to let it grow. Let's say he got great feedback on it from plenty of people (including me) and it began a slow descent toward cockiness. He is now very self-absorbed, seemingly having lost the humility that endeared others to him in the first place.

I never went to that extreme, but compliments as well as casual glances from women undoubtedly made me more self-assured.

It's important that we try as much as possible to remain humble, no matter how attractive or good at something we may be.

Have compliments and/or attention from the opposite sex caused you to become cocky?




Comments

Flo said…
I think compliments can cause that especially when your self esteem is low or if people say good things about one thing on particular that took a lot of work because we're not used to such confidence. It's like a rebound effect and sometimes it's hard to find just the right amount of confidence because it's unusual and intoxicating. It takes work to feel good about yourself too apparrently.

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