My wife and I went to a family get together at her parents' house last night, where one of her brothers and two of her sisters-in-law got completely wasted.
Her family knows full well that neither my wife nor I drink. It's not as if I've never tried. I've tasted a slew of drinks and have found all of them, with exception to the fruity daiquiri, to be almost intolerable. I simply lack the taste buds for alcohol. As for my wife, she likes only a couple of drinks, but for the most part refrains from drinking as well.
As you can expect, this doesn't exactly sit well with them. For years now, they've made every attempt to get us to take a few sips at every gathering. The pressure to drink last night was more palpable than usual, ostensibly in light of the fact that my wife and I are now married and I am "part of the family."
I fret at the pressure society puts on people to conform to what everyone else in the group does. When it comes to drinking, I think this kind of peer pressure stems from a number of variables:
Her family knows full well that neither my wife nor I drink. It's not as if I've never tried. I've tasted a slew of drinks and have found all of them, with exception to the fruity daiquiri, to be almost intolerable. I simply lack the taste buds for alcohol. As for my wife, she likes only a couple of drinks, but for the most part refrains from drinking as well.
As you can expect, this doesn't exactly sit well with them. For years now, they've made every attempt to get us to take a few sips at every gathering. The pressure to drink last night was more palpable than usual, ostensibly in light of the fact that my wife and I are now married and I am "part of the family."
I fret at the pressure society puts on people to conform to what everyone else in the group does. When it comes to drinking, I think this kind of peer pressure stems from a number of variables:
- People wanting to validate their own decision to get hammered and let loose
- People trying to reduce the cognitive dissonance they feel when someone is a little different and strays from doing what everyone else likes doing
- Having a herd mentality: "We all do this together"
We've all seen that this can happen in a range of contexts, including goading people to take drugs, wheedling someone into getting laid so as to finally lose his or her virginity, etc. When one deviates from the accepted and expected behaviors of a group, he can get a lot of flak for it. In the worst cases, the pressure can escalate into all-out bullying.
One thing I find myself questioning time and time again is: Why do people find the need to get drunk in the first place? What is so alluring about making a fool of yourself, only to have no memory of it all the next day?
Here are a couple of possible answers I came up with:
- To escape reality: Between having a job, kids, and other priorities, life can become stressful -- which drives many of us to reach for the bottle and release our inhibitions.
- When you're under the influence, you're not cognizant of how much you're actually drinking.
- People assume that you can't party to the fullest without getting drunk.
If you find yourself being pressured into doing something you don't want to do, stand firm and politely say "no thanks." After a couple of times, they'll get the hint and back away. Don't let others call the shots in your own life for you.
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