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Is it wrong to flirt while married or in a relationship?

Research suggests that many married men and women -- and even unmarried ones in serious relationships -- admit to flirting with other people.

Now, flirting could mean anything from exchanging glances and smiles to complimenting what someone else is wearing. As we know, you don't even have to talk to someone to engage in flirting.

So why is it that so many people who are married or in serious relationships do this?

My theory is as follows: As much as we may love our partners, human beings get a tremendous high from being fancied by other people -- especially ones we find physically attractive.

Let's face it: Even if we find our partner to be the most attractive person in the world, we can't help but feel physically attracted to others. While some people can keep the attraction they feel to themselves, others resort to the only way they can subtly convey it without full-blown cheating: flirting.

I think people do this because sometimes they want to feel desired by someone other than their partners. They think to themselves along these lines: "Hey, I'm married with three kids, but still attractive enough to draw other eyes." It's an exciting rush reminiscent of the courting stage they experienced with their own partners.

Many people become complacent in their marriages and relationships. In such cases, the passion cools off over time, and people don't make as much of an effort to look good for the other person. Or, for those who do try, the efforts may go unnoticed.

Why is it that, despite being married or in a relationship, many women continue to wear provocative clothing? It's the attention they get that drives them to do so, as much as they may complain of perverts gawking at them.

My take on this is that flirting is okay as long as it remains harmless. I don't see anything wrong with making eye contact with, smiling at, and introducing yourself to someone in a friendly, platonic way. However, any form of touching, as well as meeting up with or communicating with someone in secret, is clearly out of bounds.

Here's how to gauge whether you're dangerously close to or already treading cheater territory:

  • Ask yourself whether you'd feel comfortable telling your spouse or partner what you're doing
  • How would you feel if you found out your partner is doing the same thing?
Do you think it's wrong for married people or those in committed relationships to engage in even light flirting? Why or why not?









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