Be careful: Backstabbers are always around us

There's a girl I work with (let's call her Ana) who loves chatting up Cindy, my cubicle neighbor. Though Cindy is about 15 years Ana's senior, you'd think the two are best friends upon hearing them converse. They can blather on for hours about everything from food and children to the usual workplace gossip.

Today, my department had a holiday lunch at a nearby restaurant. Ana, a male coworker named Andy, and I carpooled to the restaurant. On the way there, Ana began dishing about Cindy and some of the other women in the department. She commented on everything from their dressing habits to their rather "old school" perspectives, as she put them, on life. (Mind you, these women are in their 50s and 60s.)

You might be thinking, "Poor Cindy. She probably doesn't deserve that." But Cindy herself has been known to talk behind others' backs, so, as I see it, she's getting a taste of her own medicine.

This goes to show you that backstabbers are everywhere. It's very hard to trust people nowadays, especially in school, work, and other social settings. The same person patting you on the back today could be stabbing it tomorrow.

That's why I encourage you to tread lightly in your dealings with people. Don't give your trust so easily; let people earn it! Even then, you shouldn't disclose:

• Personal details about your life that someone might be tempted to pass on
• Any "dirt" you have on anyone that you wouldn't want getting back to him or her

Whenever I come across a person who's gossiping about someone else, I either walk away or attempt to change the subject. Unfortunately, gossip is becoming more and more rampant in the workplace these days; we all have to deal with it as some point. Even within our circle of friendships and relationships, there's always someone who can't help but critique what someone else says or does when the person is not around.

I firmly believe that people who make a habit of backstabbing people are not only hypocrites of the worst kind, but they're likely grappling with underlying trust issues of their own. Perhaps they've been burned in the past, and, as a result, resolve to manipulate people under the guise of friendship. 

Again, you can never be too wary of people's motives. There are still genuine people out there who wish to avoid conflict rather than stir it up, but those aren't always easy to find.

Want to read more on how to understand people? Please click the link for previous posts.