Why some people like to see us unhappy

We've all heard the phrase "misery loves company." Indeed, some people actually like seeing others struggling or unhappy in general. But why?

Generally, those who fall into this group are unhappy with one or more aspects of their own lives, and it makes them feel better to know someone else is in the same boat. Is it any wonder that message boards and support groups are more popular than ever before?

If things aren't going well for you, the last thing you may care to witness is a happy event in someone else's life. For example, if you just got fired and learn that your best friend got a promotion, you might be tempted to undermine his accomplishment by telling him that companies truthfully don't value their employees, and that he'll always be in danger of being fired nonetheless.

Many parents who come to regret having children may try to pressure their childfree friends into having kids of their own -- not so their friends can experience the many "joys" of parenthood, but to derive some satisfaction out of seeing someone else dealing with sleepless nights and all the other challenges facing parents.

If you've ever found yourself failing a class, reeling from a bad breakup, or struggling to make ends meet, it's probably been an easier pill to swallow knowing someone else is going through the same thing.

Desiring misfortune on someone else is not only wrong, but it reflects a certain level of selfishness. It communicates that one feels they shouldn't be the only ones confronting a tough situation.

The reality is we all face tough challenges in life. We each deal with our own battles, even if it may not appear that way on the surface.

A better approach is to celebrate each other's triumphs and be a source of support for one another when things aren't necessarily going as well, rather than being spiteful or envious.

In other words, we should be there for each other through the thick and thin. Isn't that what true friendship is all about?

Comments

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