Skip to main content

Why single people flirt with married ones

It's a common occurrence these days for married people to get hit on by singles. Apparently, that ring on the finger does little to deter these relentless individuals.

So why does this happen?

For starters, we've all heard the phrase "you want what you can't have." Married people are off the market, but that seems to make them all the more irresistible in the eyes of the unshackled. It's like that forbidden fruit you shouldn't touch, but have a hard time resisting.

Second, what makes a married person more attractive is the mere fact that someone liked him or her enough to make a long-term commitment. That immediately raises the person's value in the flirt's book, not to mention the fact that married people are more sexually experienced.

Next, people do it because they've convinced themselves that nothing wrong will come of such behavior. They think along these lines: "Hey, it's just a little harmless flirting. He'll go home to his wife tonight and everything will be fine. No biggie." Unfortunately, things can escalate quickly if the flirting is reciprocated and becomes routine.

Single people are more prone to engaging in this kind of behavior when they feel lonely, just got out of a relationship (especially if it was on bad terms), or are simply in need of attention from someone of the opposite sex. Just like the married person gets a major ego boost from the flirting, it's a major shot in the arm for the flirt when the married one reciprocates.

We all experience increased levels of self-confidence and heightened feelings of self-worth when people flirt with us. If you're married and on the receiving end of the flirting, such behavior may make you uncomfortable and lead to feelings of guilt or regret.  If you feel the flirt is crossing the line, remind him or her -- in a respectful manner, of course -- that you're married and completely faithful to your spouse. People will usually back away once you take a stand and call the offender out on his or her inappropriate advances.

 There's no denying it feels good to get hit on by the opposite sex, but that in no way makes it right. If you're not careful, "harmless flirting" can devolve into all-out cheating.

Do you know of single people who flirt with married individuals? Have you found yourself in this situation?

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hmmm... There's another reason. I'm more likely to flirt with married men for fun (than single men for fun) because it's understood that the flirting with a married guy is not serious.

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...