I realize this isn't the first time I've written on this topic, but it's something that continues to boggle my mind more and more with each passing day.
Why does society pressure us so much into following a certain course of action -- that is, the route everyone else has taken?
Just the other day, my coworker heard me saying I wanted to get a cat instead of a dog and gave me a 10-minute spiel on why getting a dog is the right choice. A mom of two, she based her argument on the assumption that my wife and I will have kids someday, and so she gave me her "mommy perspective."
It's astonishing how people just assume things this way. Most people think everyone aims for the big-house-with-white-picket-fence-plus-three-kids--and-two-dogs deal, but that just isn't always the case. In addition to wanting a cat instead of a dog, here are a few other ways I might be going against the grain:
The takeaway point from all this is that people need to be more open to differing points of view, which, I know, isn't always easy to do.
Why does society pressure us so much into following a certain course of action -- that is, the route everyone else has taken?
Just the other day, my coworker heard me saying I wanted to get a cat instead of a dog and gave me a 10-minute spiel on why getting a dog is the right choice. A mom of two, she based her argument on the assumption that my wife and I will have kids someday, and so she gave me her "mommy perspective."
It's astonishing how people just assume things this way. Most people think everyone aims for the big-house-with-white-picket-fence-plus-three-kids--and-two-dogs deal, but that just isn't always the case. In addition to wanting a cat instead of a dog, here are a few other ways I might be going against the grain:
- I want to buy a condo, not a house (cheaper and less maintenance)
- I may not want to have kids
- I don't drink
- I am not aiming to be CEO of a company (would rather have a task-oriented job than a people-driven one)
- I am not a party person and would rather stay home writing and reading
I think people pressure you into doing what they did in your situation -- or doing what they think is right -- because it validates their own actions and beliefs.
When people give you advice, it's always best to take it with a grain of salt because, in essence, people's own experiences mold their outlook on life.
It might very well be that my coworker has had bad experiences with cats in the past and thus would not get one if she were in my shoes. That's fine, but it would be more constructive for her to say that from the outset and not make it seem like anyone who gets a cat instead of a dog is acting foolishly.
Sometimes people also need to look at things from the other person's perspective. She stressed that dogs are a better choice for pregnant women since they don't shed as much. That may be so, but if we don't plan to have kids, the point is moot, and that goes back to my earlier point: People make assumptions without knowing all the facts.
The takeaway point from all this is that people need to be more open to differing points of view, which, I know, isn't always easy to do.
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