Have you noticed how some people are far more serious when conversing with just one person, but act like goofballs if a third person -- a friend, maybe -- is also involved in the banter?
The reason for this is simple: We feel more vulnerable when we're alone. If a close friend happens to interject, though, we seem more at ease. All of the sudden, we feel comfortable enough to crack a joke or two and know that at least your friend will appreciate and likely laugh at it.
I see this happen all the time in the workplace. For example, when around one or two of her "office buddies," my co-worker Jenna loves to bust my chops about my being too quiet in the office. But if it's just her and I, she acts like a completely different person -- a lot more sober and humorless.
If none of Jenna's closest co-workers are around to hear her jokes, those she isn't as chummy with may not find them funny at all, so she'll likely refrain from telling them.
So what's the takeaway here? If you want to talk to someone at his or her most vulnerable, do it when the person is alone. For example, don't try to ask a girl out when she is with her friends; your chances of getting a "yes" are a lot lower in such a situation.
We try to look good in front of our friends, but when it's just us and someone we may not know all that well, we tend to tone it down a bit.
Do you act differently in both situations?
For more interesting posts on understanding people, click the link below.
How to Understand People
The reason for this is simple: We feel more vulnerable when we're alone. If a close friend happens to interject, though, we seem more at ease. All of the sudden, we feel comfortable enough to crack a joke or two and know that at least your friend will appreciate and likely laugh at it.
I see this happen all the time in the workplace. For example, when around one or two of her "office buddies," my co-worker Jenna loves to bust my chops about my being too quiet in the office. But if it's just her and I, she acts like a completely different person -- a lot more sober and humorless.
If none of Jenna's closest co-workers are around to hear her jokes, those she isn't as chummy with may not find them funny at all, so she'll likely refrain from telling them.
So what's the takeaway here? If you want to talk to someone at his or her most vulnerable, do it when the person is alone. For example, don't try to ask a girl out when she is with her friends; your chances of getting a "yes" are a lot lower in such a situation.
We try to look good in front of our friends, but when it's just us and someone we may not know all that well, we tend to tone it down a bit.
Do you act differently in both situations?
For more interesting posts on understanding people, click the link below.
How to Understand People
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